Wednesday, June 10, 2015

In Stillness & Quiet

“But I have stilled and quieted my soul”

With only three verses, blinking twice causes Psalm 131 to become a distant memory. Something about the nature of Psalm 131 keeps me from forgetting it too quickly. It’s the stillness and quiet.  Psalm 131 calls attention to itself unobtrusively, with a solid knock, knock, on long forgotten doors. Causing us to peak through doorway cracks, seeing who would grab our attention in this odd & old fashioned way. In world of precisely calculated words and meticulously measured article lengths, Psalm 131 saunters by, making a quiet and unassuming statement: noise does not triumph over stillness.
The past few weeks I’ve spent several hours in a car each day. I mostly drive with co-workers, carpooling to save gas. In these still moments of highway wandering we somehow ignore the radio, the traffic, and the GPS to tell each other stories. Perhaps the scenery draws it out of us: constantly surrounded by gum trees, rolling hills and verdant fields. Maybe our industry beckons us to speak, searching for meaning and direction in a tangle of community reports, psychologist sessions, and personal opinions. Perchance our office suite has something to do with it: nine open employee spaces with six employees and no ringing phones. The world may never know. Our stories flow from academic endeavors to political movements, personal experiences, future hopes, and frustrations with seeking truth and change for our clients in the here and now. Finding truth in our personal whirlwinds of expectations and desires, to ‘fix’ and ‘change’ others’ situations seems like an improbable task. Yet when the tides rise and the swirling winds become rattling storms, I find myself wanting the small truth of Psalm 131. I can quiet my soul.

In the past I’ve sought this quiet externally, believing the quiet comes from a location or in moments spent apart from chaos. Being surrounded by green and being the master of my own schedule certainly helps, but I don’t think finding external quiet quite fits David’s Psalms. David certainly spent a few seasons in the wilderness, away from noisy society, but he also spent seasons in service to a mad king, who literally threw spears at him. Somehow David kept his cool in these hot situations, even when he couldn’t run away. David’s quietness certainly came from years of watching sheep, but his stillness remained, even when he had long left the flock and field. Too often we long to get away instead of seeking quiet and the stillness in our present circumstances. We let the busyness and chaos of modern living overrun our inner stillness and quiet, giving up what we do not need to lose.
I have not yet mastered stillness and quiet, but the more I find myself in the swirl of this chaotic life the easier I find it to remain calm. Practicing quietness in the midst of turmoil certainly means placing myself into muddled and murky situations, but the more of these situations I place myself into, the more I realize chaos doesn’t have to ruin my inner peace. Chaos happens whether we search it out or not, whether we plan for it or not. The more I deal with the chaos of life, the more I learn how to deal with my inner rumblings and disquiet. By seeking out, or perhaps finding myself in, places and with people where I can speak and express myself and find listening ears, the more I find myself less concerned by the pounding winds and prattling rains. I can watch the thundering storm, and live within it, because the winds and the rains do not define the state of my soul.

Such is the peace that comes from placing one’s self in God. Such is the peace in Psalm 131.

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